The Latest Development in My World of Romance

This is the last stanza of a poem that I wrote about what's happened with the American.

We spent the second of July falling in and out of each other's lives.
Through kisses, touches, words, sounds and looks
I gained faith in the reality of the things you've told me before,
That you are a good man, that you don't believe in one night stands,
That you actually want to treat me right.
You don't like what you know about my past with boys,
And if I told you what you don't know... well, I don't know how you'd react.
I did go against a promise to myself to be with you.
I have told numerous people that, "I'm off the market until October."
See, that was the promise, a year after I left him would be when I'd
Allow myself to venture there again, into that world of sex and romance and feelings uncontrollable.
And I am a stubborn woman, not easily do I go against my own word.
And I hope you feel special.
Even if I don't show it in a way that you might expect,
I am in a state of euphoria just thinking about you,
I am nervous to have this long-distance, communicating-through-email, no-so-complicated relationship.
And perhaps it is the simplicity that is throwing me for a loop, because
In my mind it should be the short distance relationships, like the ones in my past, that are simple,
And yet, there they are in my memory, fucked up and hectic, confusing and painful and horrible,
So, I'm excited now for this new thing, this distance-protecting-me-from-harm-and-dependence thing.
And I hope that if this does grow, that it grows like a wild flower,
Organically and peacefully and brilliantly.